Family arguments are very common; they can also be very hurtful when you feel mistreated and misunderstood. However, with the right attitude, family disagreements can be resolved, and you can learn to argue more effectively by understanding the other person’s style and point of view.
How to Settle a Family Argument
Read on for some quick tips on controlling family arguments when they break out unexpectedly.
Creative Communication
There are two main problems with family conflicts, the people involved know each other very well, and there is a kind of invisible glue that binds family members together, making it harder for them to simply walk away. The solution to these kinds of issues is creative communication.
Think of communication about your family law dispute as a game of chess. If they say something that gets your back up and you react right away, there are two pieces gone from the board. Instead, you could acknowledge that there is some truth to what they are saying and move on.
Pattern Recognition
People are patterns mainly. We are patterns when it comes to our daily routines, our choice of partners, and our argument styles. Every disagreement or argument you have with your family is an opportunity to recognize the patterns and play and become more aware of the conflicts.
Some family members might be very conflict-avoidant, while others will want to stand and face off during the disagreement, but most people are a combination of traits that can be noticed and worked with. Try to view your family fallouts as a chance to learn the argument style of people.
Choice Points
Within any argument, disagreement, or fallout, there are choice points; these are moments in the argument when the pattern is interrupted, and you have a choice of whether to increase the intensity of the situation or take it in another direction. They can be pivotal to your outcomes.
Changing the direction of a heated discourse requires some awareness and presence of mind. If you adopt the first two strategies in the article, chances are you will be able to spot the choice points a lot more easily. Again, creative communication in the direction of harmony is the goal.
Forward Planning
People and arguments are a lot more predictable than you might expect. Sure, there are times when things erupt out of the blue, and you find yourself in a difficult state of mind, but most of the time, we can anticipate arguments – especially when it comes to common family situations.
Forward planning can help you identify the triggers that are likely to cause disagreements; you can then work creatively to avoid them or pole them gently. It’s also a good idea to keep track of your family member’s personalities and argument styles so you can react in a constructive way.
Final Thoughts
Family arguments, fallouts, and disputes are pretty much guaranteed throughout the course of your life, so it makes sense to equip yourself with the best tools and resources to handle the expected and the unexpected in your household. Always try to be creative with communication.
