Problems and struggles are part of the challenges that all families are bound to face together. Common issues that can cause family struggles may include financial problems, relationship restraints, misunderstandings, unfinished responsibilities, or even household chores.
During these stressful events, every member must know how to manage and resolve these issues. Otherwise, unresolved conflicts may lead to tension, hostile disagreements, resentment, and worst, divorce and broken family.
Knowing how to manage family issues and other stressful events will prevent you from taking actions that you might regret later, such as insulting a family member or cutting them off completely.
Thankfully, there are tips and ways you can take to help you solve and manage whatever family struggles and problems that come along. To help you, here are five tips to remember that will help you manage family struggles.
Let Go Of All Forms Of Pride
Resolving family struggles and issues starts with letting go of the burning pride in your mind and heart. Pride can present in many forms, such as:
- Not calling them first until they do so.
- Ignoring their messages or calls if they first try reaching out.
- Choosing not to talk to them for days, weeks, sometimes even months.
Pride becomes advantageous if you don’t want to be treated by others as lowly individuals, but you also need to know when you’re using too much. When it comes to family struggles, it should be family versus the problem, not family versus family. To make things better, every member must know how to let go of their pride.
If you think settling disputes on your own is a struggle itself, you have the option to call the help of family lawyers to help family members compromise in an agreement and learn how to settle both sides. Remember, happy families, are the ones who know how to trust and compromise for each other.
Focus On The Issue
Whenever the family is facing arguments and disagreements, some people automatically bring up past disputes and unresolved issues. They have with the other family member. Doing this will only trigger more conflict and sometimes make the arguments go out of proportion. Bringing up past issues will also appear that either one of you could forget and forgive that conflict.
Thus, whenever issues happen, make sure that both parties only focus on the current problem. Strengthening your argument by trying to bring up old issues and mistakes never resolves your current situation.
Be An Active And Attentive Listener
Sometimes, during arguments, both parties involved tend to forget the most crucial part of communication – listening. Some would only hear but not understand what the other person has to say. Instead, they only wait for their turn to speak, or worst, interrupt the other person in the middle of the argument. Doing this can only lead to more misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Thus, during family struggles, you must practice attentive and effective listening. Effective listening is when you genuinely listen to the person talking, understand what they’re trying to say, and paraphrase what they said to ensure you got the right message. Being an attentive listener encourages the other person also to listen and do the same for you. When both parties know how to listen effectively, it can defuse arguments, smoothly resolve the conflict and save the relationship at stake.
Talk With The Rest Of The Family
On struggles such as finances, responsibilities, or parenting decisions, you must talk with the family members who must have a say in the situation. For instance, when struggling with household responsibilities, you can gather the whole family (excluding toddlers or babies) and discuss the proper division of house responsibilities. Tell them what your goal is and your proposed solution to ensure that all duties are covered and completed. Then, you can ask their opinions and suggestions so that everyone feels that they’re heard and their point of views matter.
Meanwhile, if you’re struggling with financial issues or parenting decisions, it’s crucial that you only discuss this with the rightful family member, which is your spouse. Inviting the other family members who are not involved with the issue might only make matters worse by taking sides or gossiping the private matter to people outside the family. Ultimately, you need to know when’s the right time to bring the entire family for discussion or if it should be a private matter between two parties.
Remember To Prevent Struggles
Family struggles are bound to happen, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything to prevent or minimize them in the future. After resolving the conflict or issues within the family, it’s good that you also discuss how to avoid the same case in the future. Keep in mind that you and your family are only humans and whatever faults you see in each other are just part of their characters. So, remember the things that upset them and avoid them in the future. And if they wronged you in the present, remember to not hold it against them. After all, family is family, so it’s better to forgive and forget.
The Takeaway
Family struggles can be frustrating and challenging to deal with most of the time. But remember that no problem is settled unless it’s managed and you cope with a solution. Instead, take the rough road and face your struggles with the family.