Is your son or daughter thinking about marriage? Here are some useful ways you can help them!
Help Them Know What They Want
There are many people who feel pressure from society, family, and friends for not making certain decisions. One of the most common pressures comes from the idea of marriage. As soon as one becomes an adult, family and friends tend to ask him/her when they are going to marry.
We should understand that there are many people out there who have difficulties finding their partner either due to mismatched social background, the color of skin, physical appearance, and mentality.
Yet these are just some of the factors that keep plaguing young people and making it difficult for them to find the right person for them.
On the other hand, many people may be the victims of social expectations and constructs today. This means that people are ready to get into marriage just because “it is the time” for them to marry.
Actually, the best time to marry is when one finds the right person for them who unconditionally loves them.
Accordingly, as a parent, help your son or daughter know what they want. Help them to set it clearly in their minds what they expect from the marriage, why marriage is important, and why they should marry. Likewise, check what they think and how they feel about their would-be husband/wife.
Ensure that your son or daughter marry because they love their partner, not because of some social or materialistic factors. This is important because marriage without love, mutual respect, and trust, cannot be a sustainable one.
Encourage Your Son
Given the fact your son is a man, he is often expected to take the first step toward marriage.
After you give him thoughtful pieces of advice, and after he knows what he wants and has made a decision himself, you can further encourage him by giving him an engagement ring that he can give to his would-be wife. This step can come as a huge encouragement to him since it will be a sign that he has your full support. If you don’t have such an heirloom, you can also take your son to the nearest jewelry store and help him choose the right engagement ring for the occasion.
What is more, he will feel much more confident because he knows he has you behind him, and will thus be ready to take the first step toward this great life decision.
Naturally, make sure you don’t pressure him in any way. Instead, give him some time, and let him know that he has your full support!
Not Everything Should Neither Can, Be Perfect
Many people have grave difficulties finding their true person and partner due to the pursuit of perfection. Indeed, looking for perfection is the shortest path to failure. And this is something you have to tell your son or daughter.
To that end, make sure you prevent them from falling into the trap of idealism and fantasizing about perfect and forever happy marriages they have seen in the fairy tales. Instead, help them gain courage and maturity to think realistically.
This means that they should become more realistic about themselves and their partner. In other words, help them accept themselves and their partner the way they are – with all their imperfections.
Once they become more realistic about themselves and others, they will be more likely to find the right person for them and live with them in peace and love.
Help Them Get Ready For a Change
Try to help your son or daughter to be aware and accept the fact that in marriage their lives will be changed. Make sure you help them get out of their comfort zone and accept the positive changes that will come.
Similarly, help them be aware of the responsibility that they will take and have. Help them become comfortable with the upcoming changes and help them to perceive these changes as positive changes that will help them mature and grow mentally and spiritually.
This could also include financial aid regarding the costs of their marriage, such as the wedding dress, venue, catering, and other important expenses that come with the occasion. Parents nowadays are getting various all-inclusive honeymoon packages for their kids so they can start their life as married people in a beautiful place. This helps them relax and plan out their future moves a lot better because they have some time to think in peace.
Help Them Get Ready For The Give-And-Take Principle
Many young people want to get all the love and attention possible from their partner. While this is completely okay and understandable, there is another side to it, i.e., giving the same back to their partner.
In other words, make sure you help your son or daughter learn the importance of the crucial pillar of every marriage: the give-and-take principle.
Marriage is a kind of contract where both sides should be equally investing in its sustainability.
This means that both husband and wife should give, and not only take. Differently put, both of them must give love to each other, have patience, respect, and understanding. One side cannot expect all these qualities all the time without giving it back to the other at the same time!
Lastly, tell the wisdom of the proverb: “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
