Dark times occur in every person’s life. Some of us get lucky and they’re few and far between, whereas others have to cope with events like these on a regular basis. Either way, trying to navigate the anxiety and pressures of such times can send your mental health plummeting – which can even affect your physical health too.
It’s why reframing these anxious times is all about picking out the positive moments, as well as applying a more positive filter to the things we have to live with. Of course, you should never try to brush away negative feelings without dealing with them, but mental resilience is often helped along by choosing to look toward this ‘brighter side’.
And that’s something we want to talk about here. Taking your perspective on life and turning it on its head is hard to do, and it takes a lot of commitment to pull yourself back up again. But you can do it, if you want to!
With that in mind, here are a few things to remember about putting a new frame on your perspective. You can make a difference in your life by accepting a sense of positivity and trying to put it to good use. Take a process like this at your own pace, make sure you reach out for support and set a good example for yourself.
Consider What You’ve Learned About Yourself
Anxiety provoking situations can teach you a lot about yourself. After all, the way you think, act, and behave can reveal a lot about the person you really are. Sometimes you’ll surprise yourself in a good way, and that’s a very positive thing. And then sometimes you’ll surprise yourself in a way that feels negative, but we can still apply a positive mindset to these insights.
You may have thought you were quite a practical person, but a recent shocking event made it feel impossible to do anything. You may have felt vulnerable, and even ‘weak’, and now it’s over you’re beating yourself up about the whole thing.
But this isn’t a great mindset to try and live with. You don’t need to shame yourself for being something that’s a little outside of what you thought you understood about yourself. Instead, think about why this one event rocked you in this kind of way.
Often enough, you’ll find that you were putting in 110% already! And when something else happened on top, you were too exhausted to deal with it in the way you preferred. That’s not a bad thing – it just means you were already nearing burnout, and you’d already been incredibly strong in maintaining that kind of energy for this long period.
Think About the New Skills You’ve Picked Up
No one comes out the other side of a difficult life event without having learned anything. There’s always something to be gleaned from living through things like this, and that’s something to focus on when you’re trying to be more positive.
You’re likely to have a lot of new skills when you’re feeling calmer and less on edge all the time. Even just knowing how to keep yourself calm, using coping techniques or breathing techniques that genuinely work for you, is a great skill to have on your side.
And they’re not the only things you’ll have kicking around in your head right now. You may have learnt a lot more about mental resilience and what it really means to you. This will usually include learning how to do away with negative thoughts that are simply irrational and unhelpful, and you don’t always need to actively be in therapy to pick up these techniques.
You should also think about the hands-on skills you’ve acquired. You may have come to learn the benefits of being more tactile with your loved ones, and how even just a supportive hand or hug can mean the world to someone. Yes, even a soft skill like this is a thing to be proud of right now.
Never ever let yourself live with this kind of anxiety without looking at what you’ve achieved. If you allow yourself to look inwards at the ways you’ve changed and grown over the past few months or year, you’ll see just how different your handling skills have become.
Pay Attention to What Needs Have Been Highlighted
Everyone has them, everyone needs to take care of them. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or how it’s affecting you or your family – take note of how your body is feeling and what that could mean.
You’re allowed to focus on yourself at a difficult time, and with the deeper knowledge of what you need during the harder times in life, you can build a more robust approach for next time.
And if you have children, this is a good lesson to pass down to them. Paying attention to what your body is telling you is always good for you, and sometimes it’s best to spend time with those feelings and work on them.
That’s something any and all parents want for their kids, as it ensures you can take big feelings and work them out. Show them now that you don’t have to live with something simmering under the surface, and only pay attention to it when you feel it’s OK to do so.
Plus, physical wellness ties into your mental state. When you feel good in your body, you’ll feel good in your mind as well. Why not let the two work together at a time like this?
Reaching Out for Support Can Form New Connections
Positivity isn’t something you have to try and come up with on your own. You can reach out for support in trying to bring it into your life, and people tend to have the most success with this approach too. If you can’t wrap your head around trying to see things in a better light, someone else may have just the words you need to see things in the way you’d like to.
And reaching out can form you a lot of new connections as well. You can make lots of new friends when you attend something like a drug rehab, whether you feel an inpatient or outpatient program would be best for you.
No matter what kind of counselling you go for, you know these people are in the same boat as you. You know that they understand how difficult it can be to try and change your mindset from the ground up. That’s the kind of support you need on your side when life gets tough, and they’ll help to remind you just how differently you think these days compared to a month or so ago.
Plus, having more people in your life can help to prevent isolation from taking hold of you. Positivity is very hard when you’ve got nothing but your own company to rely on.
Don’t Pressure Yourself to Reframe
Positive reframing can be good for you – yes. But it’s not always the most appropriate thing to try out, and it’s certainly not something you should force yourself to do.
Sometimes you will receive bad news, and trying to see the good side of it will make you feel even worse. Really, some situations can be hard to look at positively in the moment, and only afterwards will you be able to even try to see things in that light.
And sometimes you will put pressure on yourself to make the best of a bad situation, and that will lower your emotional tolerance and mental wellness at that point in time. That’s not good for you, especially if you’re already feeling like you’re struggling.
Positivity isn’t something to wield against yourself. It’s meant to be a reframing tool that can be beneficial, but don’t let it become something that feels too big and too abstract to try and make use of.
If you don’t have the energy to try and be positive about something that makes you anxious, table it for later and only think about it then. You’ll have the skills we talked about above on your side for the meantime, and you should be able to use those without even thinking.
Putting a Positive Spin on Things
It’s an old saying that people have been applying for centuries. But when it comes to dealing with anxiety provoking events and the chronic stress that can arise from them, positivity is hard to focus on.
The first thing to remember is not to pressure yourself. It’s OK to have bad days even when you’re trying to be positive and use that to your own advantage. Don’t use it to cover up real feelings, but think about reframing your mindset through this viewpoint.
After all, there’s a lot to learn when you’re trying to be positive in difficult times. It takes energy and focus and a lot of commitment, but it’s something that can really help to lessen that emotional burden.
