Of all the different strategies and techniques for handling situations that come up as a parent, laughter is among the best. Not only does humor and laughter help to alleviate tension and stress, it has also been shown to benefit us physically.
Laughter is the Best Medicine
For example, our girls are big on dad jokes. Okay, well, they enjoy them, but I’m not always the best in telling them. In fact, last year my girls bought me a dad’s jokes book for Father’s Day. I’m pretty sure that was their way of telling me to step up my game. Having said all that, here are a few benefits of parenting with a positive spin, as well as ways to incorporate laughter into your parenting routine.
Physical Benefits
Laughter helps to relieve physical stress and tension, which leaves your body feeling more relaxed after. A good laugh also gets your heart pumping and gives your heart and lungs a workout. Laughing for fifteen minutes burns almost the same amount of calories as a fifteen minute walk. This means that laughing can really help when it comes to keeping fit and keeping up with the kids.
When we laugh, our bodies release endorphins, which make us feel good and give us a sense of wellbeing. Laughing also reduces the levels of stress hormones in the body, which eases tension and anxiety. Reducing your stress hormone levels may also boost the performance of your immune system. This means that laughter may also help keep you and your kids healthy.
Other Benefits
When people laugh together, it strengthens their relationship. If you share laughter and humor with your kids, it helps you to bond more as a family. Laughing together encourages people to work together as a team and helps to settle conflict. Your kids will feel more connected to you if you share laughter and will be all the more motivated to do what you want them to.
Humor also helps to relieve distress during times when you are feeling overwhelmed. By making laughter a part of every day, both you and your family can maintain a more positive outlook and healthy attitude, all the way around.
Bring Laughter into Your Life
It’s easy to make laughter a part of your parenting routine, because kids love to laugh and have a good time. If your kids have a hard time getting excited about cleaning up after themselves, come up with an encouraging activity or game to play while you clean. This way, they will actually want to participate and help out, rather than doing it to avoid getting into trouble.
When something bad happens and it’s time to get tough, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation rather than the negative. Your kids may be more inclined to stay in bed at night if you talk to them about some of the fun things that might happen in the morning, rather than how much trouble they’ll be in if they don’t fall asleep.
Not only does laughter help to keep you and your family healthy and stress free, it also encourages your kids to behave better and enjoy life more. The times your family spend laughing together are the times your kids will fondly remember as they get older and form families of their own. If you encourage them to stay positive, they’ll pass that outlook down to their own kids in the future.
What is your best dad joke?
I need to add more to my dad joke arsenal!
sheila ressel says
Son: Dad, how does it feel to have an amazing son?
Dad: I don’t know, ask your grandfather!
Angelica says
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Theresa A. says
Dad joke: What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
jan says
A dad joke
“Hello, 911. What’s the emergency?”
“My wife is in labour.”
“Is this her first born?”
“No. This is her husband.”
Debra DuBois says
KNOCK KNOCK, WHOS THERE, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL WHO, WOUNDERFUL DAUGHTER LIKE YOU. He used to say that to me when I was little miss my daddy.
Calvin says
What do you call a man with no nose and no body?
Nobody nose.
Natalie says
Hostess: ‘Do you have reservations?’ Dad: ‘No. I’m confident I want to eat here.
Judith Watson says
Child runs up to grandfather ” Grandpa, Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?” Grandpa, ” I don’t know. Why?”
Child, ” Cause Grandma says as soon as you croak, we’re going to Disneyland!”
Nidhi Chauhan says
A dad joke:
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Sandra McFadden says
I don’t have any parent child jokes…………….too old and memory is gone to remember them!
Terry says
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Jeanne Coulombe says
Oh gosh I really don’t have any jokes I’ m not a person who tells jokes can’t remember one that I heard either .
Deborah Caudill says
Waitress: “Careful, that plate is hot!”
Dad: “It’s OK. So am I.”
Marissa C says
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Pam Halligan says
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
Toni Sprouse says
I got hit in the head with a can of Dr Pepper today.
Don’t worry, I’m not hurt.
It was a soft drink
Rust says
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
Tina says
I only remember one dad joke.
Dad and his 3 kids are at thedinner table. Son says to dad: dad have you ever made a mistake? Dad says: Son, I have only made 3 mistakes in my life and they are sitting in front of me.
Ellie Wright says
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe
Mieczysław says
Son -How far away is dinner?
Dad -About two metres.
Brenna M says
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’
Angelica says
I asked my dad for his best dad joke. He looked at me and said, “You.”
Kelly D says
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Darlene Carbajal says
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y lol.
Kristy Hughes says
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
Marty says
Q: “What’s brown and sticky?”
A: “A stick”
Shannon S says
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
Nidhi Chauhan says
Dad’s Joke:
My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter…
But I’m on a roll now.
Jen Rodrigues says
Laughter is the best medicine. Makes me happy and brings happiness to everyone else around you as well. It’s contagious.
Jen Rodrigues says
Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting. I do not really know any good jokes lol.
Theresa A. says
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!
Gabrielle says
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”
Gabrielle says
The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.
Someone dialed 911.
When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.
“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.”
Pam Halligan says
“Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!”
Rebecca Meyer says
If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
Terry says
Dad: “Can I see your report card, son?”
Son: “I don’t have it.”
Dad: “Why?”
Son: “I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents.”
Rust says
Q: What do you call a pig from 65,000,000 years ago?
A: Jurassic Pork.
Angelica says
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
jan says
Dad to his son: “I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and dumb.”
Theresa A. says
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!
Carla C says
I don’t know any parent child jokes. My dad used to say your butt is grass and I’m the lawnmower when I was bad.
Sonya Morris says
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Gabrielle says
“The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house. Whenever I say a bad word, I have to put a dollar in the jar, and at the end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for being such a cool dad.”
carroll weider says
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
Brenna M says
Grandad at my Grandma’s funeral
Family friend: Are you alright?
Grandad: No, I’m half left.
Andrew P says
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
jan says
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Theresa A. says
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Rust says
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
Sonya Morris says
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it
Terry says
I really don’t know too many parent / day jokes but here is one my grandkids said to me: Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sunday School
Gabrielle says
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or
have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our
carpet or ruin our lives.
Rust says
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”
The other kid says, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”
The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”
Brenna M says
While discussing drugs…
Dad: I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey
Rest of us: ???
Dad: But then I turned myself around.
Mieczysław says
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Sonya Morris says
What do you call a cat walking through the desert?
Sandy Claws
jan says
A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.
Theresa A. says
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Terry says
Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.
Seyma Bennett says
Son: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dad: Really? I bet they don’t fit.
Gabrielle says
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Brenna M says
“I’ll call you later.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
jan says
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
Spencer Cooper says
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Angelica says
Wanna hear a corny dad joke?
A colonel walks into a microwave.
POP!
Ok, it’s more like a kid’s joke but I think it’s funny either way. No one else ever does though. 🙁
heather Kaufman says
Why is 7 the scariest number? Because 7 8 9.
Carla C says
what is cheese that you dont own? nacho cheese
Theresa A. says
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.
Alan Tong says
Hostess: ‘Do you have reservations?’ Dad: ‘No. I’m confident I want to eat here.
Rust says
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
Seyma Bennett says
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
Gabrielle says
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Pam Halligan says
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
MICHAEL CHEVILLOT says
–“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!'”
–“Anytime I do something smart my dad says, ‘Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!'”
–I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
–A genie asked, “What’s your first wish?” Steve answered, “I wish I was rich.” And the genie said, “What’s your second wish, Rich.”
–“How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘Rub it, rub it.'”
–“Dad, did you get shot in the army? No, son. I only got shot in the leggy.”
–“What’s Forrest Gump’s Gmail password? 1forrest1”
–“I’ll do algebra, tackle geometry, maybe even a little calculus… But graphing is where I draw the line”
–“Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.’”
–“A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.'”
–“To the guy who invented the zero… Thanks for nothing.”
–“What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese!”
–“I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’”
Sorry, if i overdid it.
Brenna M says
Dad when a bug hits the windshield while driving: “bet he doesn’t have the guts to do that again!”
Angelica says
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it’s the scenter.
Judith Watson says
Man goes to doctor for annual checkup, the doc asks how he’s doing. The man says fine but I’m getting up in the middle of the night to pee a lot, but it’s alright because God turned the light on for him. The doc goes to talk to the wife and tells her that her husband was okay but he was worried about his mental health. She asks why, and he tells her what he said. The wife gets angry and says, ” That idiot is peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Alan Tong says
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Rust says
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Theresa A. says
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Sonya Morris says
Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania
Gabrielle says
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Brenna M says
Dad holding a step ladder: “this is my step ladder… I never knew my real ladder.”
Kara L Collins says
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off
Mieczysław says
What time is it? I don’t know. It keeps changing.
jan says
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’
Rust says
Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: You steal her pajamas.
Hania Balewicz says
I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
Alan Tong says
Dad to his son: “I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and dumb.
Theresa A. says
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
Seyma Bennett says
“I’m never having kids. I hear they take nine months to download.”
Ray Saunders says
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Where ever you left it!
Gabrielle says
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Pam Halligan says
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
Hania Balewicz says
Me: “Please may I leave the table?”
Dad: “And where are you going to leave it?”
Mieczysław says
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Brenna M says
Driving past a cemetery:
dad: “did you know that all the people who live around here aren’t allowed to be buried in that cemetery?”
me: “really? why not?”
dad: “because they’re not dead yet.”
Angelica says
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
jan says
“Dad, can you put on my shoes?”
“I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
kathy m says
Little five year old Johnny was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, “Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again.”
Johnny replied, “Maybe you should stop watering it so much.”
Alan Tong says
DAD: Do you know the joke from the 3rd floor?
SON: No
DAD: Me neither, I was on the 2nd floor at the time.
Rust says
Why Should You Have A Dog If You Also Have A Teenager?
So someone in the house is happy to see you!
Seyma Bennett says
I love a good joke! Anything that puts a smile on my face. My kids love Knock knock jokes like
Knock knock
whose there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s not King kong.
Gabrielle says
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
Terry says
Here’s a joke my grandson told me: What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
Rust says
Why Do Mother Kangaroos Hate It When It Rains?
Because the kids have to play inside.
Angelica says
Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Mieczysław says
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.'”
Hania Balewicz says
Son: Where are my sunglasses? Dad: I don’t know…where are my dad glasses?
Alan Tong says
Stop whining, you will never be the man your mother is.
Theresa A. says
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
Sonya Morris says
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad
Nidhi Chauhan says
Dad joke:
I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares.
Seyma Bennett says
KNock knock
whose there
Dad
Dad who
3…2…..1…
Gabrielle says
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Brenna M says
Dad: Do you know why one side of the ‘v’ is longer than the other?
Son: No, why?
Dad: Because it has more geese.
Theresa A. says
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Alan Tong says
Son: “Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?”
–
Dad: “Not at all, it kills them!”
jan says
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them
Sonya Morris says
What do you call someone who dresses up like a noodle?
An impasta!
Rust says
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”
Gabrielle says
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Rust says
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye ‘maighty.
Brenna M says
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees.
Daughter: Why? The sky is clear, there’s no chance of lightning.
Dad: I don’t know really, they just look kind of shady to me.
Theresa A. says
“How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Alan Tong says
Dad, I’m hungry!”
“Oh hello Hungry, I’m Dad!”
“But I’m really hungry!”
“And I’m really Dad.”
Sonya Morris says
What’s the opposite of wrinkly.
Irony
Richard Hicks says
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
Terry says
Q: Why is a river rich?
A: Because it has two banks
Gabrielle says
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
Terry says
Q: What do you call a fake Irish stone
A: A shamrock
Pam Halligan says
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Brenna M says
What do you call a person who tells dad jokes but has no kids? A faux pa.
Rust says
Did you hear about the lion that ate his friends?
He had to swallow his pride.
Judith Watson says
I asked my dad for his best dad joke. He replied, “You” !
Alan Tong says
Son: “Am I adopted?”
Dad: “Not yet, it seems nobody is interested.“
Theresa A. says
Me: Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
Sonya Morris says
Why don’t crabs give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Nidhi Chauhan says
I love this:
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Gabrielle says
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Brenna M says
Daughter: “Daddy, why didn’t I get a sunburn?” Dad: “You can’t, honey?” Daughter: “Really?” Dad: “You can only get a daughterburn.”
Angelica says
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank it before it was cool.
jan says
Parenting is a lot like a Tarantino film. You are left with a lot of questions and there is violent screaming.
Judith Watson says
Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8(ate) 9.
denise low says
A head floating down the river singing I ain’t got nobody.
Rust says
Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
Nidhi Chauhan says
I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
Theresa A. says
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
Alan Tong says
Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”
Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”
Terry says
Here’s a joke for grandparents: What do you call a grandpa whale?… A hunch back whale!
Gabrielle says
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
Pam Halligan says
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Brenna M says
Dad, did you get shot in the army?
No, son. I only got shot in the leggy.
Angelica says
Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?
They don’t have the guts
jan says
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?
Crystal Walker says
I don’t have a Dad joke just a memory of my Dad getting in the floor, curling up in a ball and popping out like a piece of popcorn which was so funny to watch him, I will never forget
Rust says
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Theresa A. says
I wanted to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
Alan Tong says
Parenting is juggling chainsaws and wondering why it’s so loud and why your shoulders are so sore.
Gabrielle says
Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Jackie says
I am really better with dead baby jokes. Please let this count.
Pam Halligan says
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Brenna M says
Not just a Dad joke, but still cute…
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
Angelica says
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
jan says
Did you get a haircut?
Not. I got them all cut.
Terry says
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she will Let it go.
Theresa A. says
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
Alan Tong says
Son: “Dad, can you make me a sandwich, please?”
Dad: “Abrakadabra, you are now a sandwich!”
Rust says
What do you call a small parent?
A minimum !
Gabrielle says
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Brenna M says
Waitress: sees that dad hasn’t eaten all his food “Do you want a box for that?”
Dad: “No, but I’ll wrestle ya for it!”
Pam Halligan says
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
mami2jcn says
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent.
Emeryl says
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-cpROzynkc
“Only you can turn delicious lemonade into lemons.”
“Sugar is bad for you.”
shelly peterson says
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
jan says
Why was the child looking for fast food on his dad?
Because he said dinner was on him.
Betsy Barnes says
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web!
Angelica says
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Holly Thomas says
88% of parenting is saying “it’s bedtime” 150 times between 8:00 and 9:00 every night.
Jessica To says
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo Who? You don’t have to cry about it!
Alan Tong says
The phone rings.
Dad: What does the caller ID say?
Mom: Private caller.
Dad: Don’t answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
Kamella says
Where do bees go to the bathroom? At the BP station!!!
Rust says
Q: Which type of worms do storks like most?
A: Birthworms.
Theresa A. says
Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.
Sonya Morris says
Why did Elsa lose her balloon?
She let it go.
Deanna Marissa says
Why can’t two elephants go swimming? Because they only have one pair of trunk
Nidhi Chauhan says
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin says, “It’s hot in here.” The second muffin screams, “Ahhh! A talking muffin.”
Gabrielle says
I’ll call you later.
Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
mami2jcn says
I saw this on Twitter: The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate
Lisa Brown says
Son: Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
Elena says
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Betsy Barnes says
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
Theresa A. says
When you ask a dad if he’s alright: “No, I’m half left.”
Francesca says
“I see said the blind man who picked up the hammer and saw”
Alan Tong says
I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes. He had tears in his eyes. Then he hugged my sister and me.
Rust says
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code.
jan says
My dad and I often laugh about how competitive we are.
But I laugh more.
Brenna M says
Dad: Are you cold?
Daughter: Yes!
Dad: You should sit in a corner.
Daughter: Why??
Dad: Because it’s 90 degrees.
Susan Smith says
Son What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Dad: Beats me.
Son: A POPsicle!
Sonya Morris says
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the “barking” lot!
Deanna Marissa says
When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
Nidhi Chauhan says
Dad Joke:
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Gabrielle says
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Lisa Brown says
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
mami2jcn says
From Jim Gaffigan: “I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it’s for my toddler sons and daughters to pull themselves up off the ground with as I scream in pain.”
Elena says
Son: what’s up dad?
Dad: gas prices son
jan says
Dad, what do you call a skeleton?
A bonehead
Rust says
A duck hands some chapstick to the pharmacist who asks “Will you be paying cash or check?”
The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
Alan Tong says
Dad: I love my rock-hard, honed six-pack so much I protect it with a good layer of lard.”
Brenna M says
Terrorist holding dad at gunpoint-
Terrorist: “Say your last words!”
Dad: “Your last words!”
Terrorist: “What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!”
Dad: “Okay, I’ll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?”
Terrorist: “Stop. Why isn’t this scaring your?”
Dad: “Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway.”
Terrorist: “What’s a ‘henway'”?
Dad: “About a pound and a half.”
Terrorist: “Stop! I’m serious!”
Dad: “Hi Sirius! I’m Dad!”
Theresa A. says
Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.
Betsy Barnes says
Dad – Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
Barbara Montag says
My joke –
Q: What do you call a pig from 65,000,000 years ago?
A: Jurassic Pork.
Chrissy says
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
Deanna Marissa says
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
Nidhi Chauhan says
Dad Joke:
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Gabrielle says
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
Lisa Brown says
Ill call you later.
Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
Richard Hicks says
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks
Brenna M says
Waitress: Careful, that plate is hot!
Dad: It’s okay, I’m not attracted to plates.
mami2jcn says
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
Elena says
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Angelica says
Did you know? The shovel was a ground-breaking invention!
Kim Henrichs says
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!
Barbara Montag says
Dad joke – My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
Betsy Barnes says
I asked my Dad for his best Dad joke, he said, “YOU!”
Rust says
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.
latanya says
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
jan says
What do you get when your dad wakes up on a workday and realizes he ran out of coffee?
A depresso.
LauraJJ says
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!”
Tina W says
My Dad tells this one every time we go out to eat and someone orders fries:
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Theresa A. says
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Alan Tong says
Son: Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
Dad: Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.
Deanna Marissa says
Russ: “Dad, this tree won’t fit in our backyard.” Clark: “It’s not going in the yard, Russ. It’s going in the living room.”
Nidhi Chauhan says
Dad Joke:
I’ll do algebra, tackle geometry, maybe even a little calculus… But graphing is where I draw the line.
Gabrielle says
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
Carolsue says
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
Lisa Brown says
What do you call a can of soup that eats other cans of soup? A CANnibal.
Pam Halligan says
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
mami2jcn says
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
Elena says
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Theresa A. says
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
jan says
My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he’s healthy.
Angelica says
Have you heard about the new store called Moderation?
They have everything in there!
Betsy Barnes says
Son: Where are my sunglasses? Dad: I don’t know…where are my dad glasses?
heather says
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Rust says
Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.
LauraJJ says
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
Alan Tong says
Daughter: “Dad you look tired.”
Dad: “Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds.”
Audrey Stewart says
Dad used to have a job at the calendar factory, but they fired him because he took a couple of days off.
Mindi Eden says
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
Michele Pineda says
Parenting is stopping your kid from eating that piece of chocolate which has fallen on the floor and then eating it yourself when he/she is not looking. yes… I admit, I am guilty of this… chocolate is good for my stress level. lol
Sherry Keef says
When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
Angela Saver says
My joke is:
What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
Deanna Marissa says
Daughter: “Daddy, why didn’t I get a sunburn?” Dad: “You can’t, honey?” Daughter: “Really?” Dad: “You can only get a daughterburn.”
kristi says
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.
lol
Annette H says
What time is it?
Time for you to get a watch.
Deanna says
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
Gabrielle says
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Jennifer H. says
Dad: Why is your January report card so bad? Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!
Terry says
Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
John H. says
Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you’d put things away, you’d know where to find them.
Lisa Brown says
You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
Brenna M says
Did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
Barbara Montag says
Another dad joke –
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!
mami2jcn says
Would you like to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy.
Merlin McClung says
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
Elena says
When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
Theresa A. says
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
Angelica says
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go number one?
Because the P is silent.
Shannon says
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way.
Betsy Barnes says
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
June S. says
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Ellen Thompson says
What has 4 legs, is green and fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree? A pool table
jan says
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
heather says
How long does it take to make butter? An echurnity!
Rust says
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “It’s the minister, Mummy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mummy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
Julie Waldron says
How Do You Get A Baby Alien To Sleep? You rocket.
Alan Tong says
Dad, I’m cold!
Go to the corner, son, there’s 90 degrees.
Donna porter says
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.” LOL
laura bernard says
I would use these inside! I am awful at dad jokes though. Need my husband to tell one!
Nidhi Chauhan says
What happens if a frog parks illegally? They get toad.
Lisa Brown says
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Barbara Montag says
Dad joke not my best.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
mami2jcn says
I like this meme: I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Elena says
I would tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy
Betsy Barnes says
Son – “How many apples grow on a tree?” Dad – “All of them!”
heather says
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
amy stonger says
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
Roshawn Rochester says
Son: Dad, I’m cold.
Dad: Go stand in the corner.. it’s always 90°
Badum, bum, pssh!
Zachary Alexander says
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire…
BRITT says
How do you make a tissue dance.
Put a little boogie in it.
Sharon J says
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
April says
The ever famous
Kid:”I’m hungry!”
Parent: “hello, hungry. I’m mom”
Kid:”you think you’re funny”
Parent:”of course i am. Just like you’re funny. Funny looking”
Tristan Fiore says
My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.'”
Christian Rangel says
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here’
Regina says
I don’t have a dad joke but I want to enter for the Fan Expo tickets!
Timothy Goalwin says
A turkey sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”
😂😂😂😂😂
Kiki says
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who.
Living with Whovian’s is never boring.
Kendra says
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
Shakeia Rieux says
Reversing the car ‘Ahh, this takes me back.
Elena says
Son: what’s up dad?
Dad: gas prices son.
Vanessa Richard says
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.
Brigitte says
Question: How many parents does it take to raise a “kid”?
Answer: None, because a “kid” is a baby goat.
Regina says
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Sara V. says
Can February March?
No, but April May!
🙂
Jennifer Carroll says
You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.
Jessica Davis says
Don’t have no good dad jokes but can say awesome blog post!!!
Vanessa Richard says
WHY DO MELONS HAVE WEDDINGS?
Because they cantaloupe!
Jason says
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!
Kelly McGrew says
Dad, did you get a haircut?
-No, I got them all cut!
MD Kennedy says
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y!!!!
Sherry Keef says
How many banana’s grow on a tree?
All of them.
Richard Hicks says
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
MD Kennedy says
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
Donna porter says
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants! LOL
MD Kennedy says
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink… No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema!
John H. says
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
Jennifer H. says
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
Julie Waldron says
I have an addiction to Cheddar Cheese but it’s only mild.
Jerry Marquardt says
I stay away from the scary stuff. It even scares me!