The idea of your kids finally flying the nest is bittersweet. You’re happy that they are starting their life as an adult, and you’re excited to see how they succeed. However, you are also worried about them. You aren’t sure how they will cope, whether they’re moving for university or to the other side of the country for their career.
However, you need to let them move out and move on, and here is how you can make sure the change is comfortable.
Even if you are not sure about your child’s plans, you must be supportive of them. This is their chance for some vital independence and a chance to prove they can live by themself without running to mom or dad with every problem. Your support can come in many forms, whether offering to help them move or donate furniture to decorate their new place. But the best way to be supportive is to remind them that you are there for them.
Share Your Wisdom
Throughout the years, you’ve accumulated plenty of knowledge that you can share with your kids. This includes everything from fixing burst pipes to getting in touch with a car accident lawyer if they experience a crash. As you won’t be there to help them, especially if they are on the other side of the country, it’s vital they know how to overcome these problems if and when they encounter them.
Even though your kids are out of the house doesn’t mean you need to cut all communication. It’s essential that you keep in touch with them and find out about their day or their plans and make sure they are getting on okay without you. Some people choose to speak every night, whereas others will have a quick phone call once a week. Whatever it is, you can choose which works best for you, and make sure you know all about what’s happening.
But Don’t Be Too Overbearing
However, there are limits to this contact. You need to recognize that your child will have a brand new life, which means they may not always be around to answer the phone or respond to messages. Whether they are with friends or working hard at the office or in the library, don’t panic if they don’t respond to a phone call immediately. By staying calm, your head won’t fill with all the Worst Case Scenarios that would no doubt flood the minds of other parents, which means you won’t blow up their phone with endless calls asking if they are okay. Not only will this help put your mind at ease, but it will also show you respect their boundaries.
If your child has never lived alone or away from home before, you may not trust them to do anything, especially if you’ve not seen them cook, clean, or do the laundry. However, failing to trust them and showing up regularly to check in on them (if they live close-by) means your child will never gain the independence they need, and they will also think that you don’t trust them enough to live by themselves, which could create resentment. You don’t want that, and your child doesn’t want that, either. You can also bite your tongue when they tell you what they are doing and how they are doing it, as this will allow them to find out the proper way for themselves, as long as doing it their way doesn’t put anyone in danger.
Know They Might Come Back
As much as you want your kid to succeed in their new life, you should understand that the independent dream could change, especially if they lose their job or their relationship doesn’t work out the way they hoped it would. Knowing this, you must remember they could come back eventually. You might have plenty of ideas about what to do with their bedroom, such as transforming it into a home gym or a games room. However, they might need this room. So, while you can convert some parts of the home, don’t forget to keep a futon and their things stored away safely, just in case.
All kids need to grow up at some point, regardless of how little everyone wants that to happen. Letting them move out and having everybody move on will give each of you the chance to come to terms with the change. It will allow you to grow as people and take the next critical step in your lives. Of course, the door will always be open to both of you.