We often underestimate the power of a few kind words. Yet, even the smallest compliment can brighten up one’s day and make them feel better overall. And because we live in the age of digital connection but real-life disconnection, stress and burnout, giving a sincere compliment is a great way to fight loneliness and isolation.
The best part, however, is that a compliment not only uplifts someone else but also improves your own well-being. And here is why.
Why are compliments so powerful?
Let’s start with what a compliment is. If you start surfing the Internet, you’d inevitably stumble upon a few things that stay at the core of complimenting. Those would be the words “admiration,” “praise,” and “respect.”
All these words bring positive energy and can shift a person’s mindset entirely. For instance, when you’re trying so hard to navigate the emotional challenges of parenting a child with ADHD, receiving a thoughtful compliment about your resilience can feel like a lifeline. It definitely offers emotional validation and supports your mental health.
Here is what compliments do:
- Inspire. You probably felt heard and seen when someone noticed your effort or talent. A compliment can motivate you to keep going in your career/financial/mental health (honestly, you-name-it) journey.
- Heal. Wellness affirmations do wonders, but can we heal our inner self on our own? As mammals, we are wired to depend on others, so it’s not a surprise at all that we have the power to make another human being’s day worse or better. And that’s where compliments come in. Multiple studies show that your balance of negative-positive emotions is a huge predictor of your overall health. And in this balance, positive emotions should prevail.
- Improve your wellbeing. A bit of external affirmation goes a long way. There have been multiple studies which show that when you perform random acts of kindness (compliments included), you actually increase your personal well-being. Why? Because when you give or receive compliments, the activity itself triggers brain regions associated with reward and motivation, and your body gets flooded with dopamine and serotonin, the hormones of pleasure and happiness respectively.
- Help you build relationships. Human beings are social creatures as we’re naturally wired to survive in groups. That’s why loners suffer from depression more often, have weaker immune systems, and experience higher stress levels. And guess what can help you start a new friendship with a stranger? Yep, a sincere compliment! Remember those brain regions? It turns out that when you give or receive a compliment, the brain also releases oxytocin — a hormone that fosters trust, social connection, and empathy.
- Make the world a better palace. Think of a snowball or avalanche effect. Once you improve the day for one person, they’ll automatically pass on that kindness to someone else. And so it goes on and on.
Quick tips on how to give good compliments
You might be a lovely, generous, and warm person but still struggle to give compliments. Perhaps, you’re shy or a little bit sociophobic, which is totally okay.
Anyway, here are a few tips on how to give good compliments that you can use the next time.
- Express gratitude. You can compliment a person for something meaningful they’ve done for you (probably, something that made your life easier). For instance, a barista remembered your usual order. You can say, “You remembering my order always makes my day easier! Thank you!”
- Be specific. Vague compliments feel generic and insincere. So, keep your compliments specific to show you’ve truly noticed something. For instance, instead of saying “Great job,” say, “The way you handled that difficult client today was impressive!”
- Praise character traits. Go beyond appearances or performance and acknowledge who someone is at the core. “I really admire how honest you are, even when it’s hard to say what you really think”
- Make it timely. Give the compliment soon after the event or behavior happens. In this way, your compliment will feel genuine and relevant. Let’s say you had a very successful meeting with a new client at work. You can compliment a team member right after the meeting.
- Use body language and tone. Eye contact, a warm tone, and a smile make a huge difference as they show your interlocutor that you’re present, friendly, and approachable.
A few big “no”s when giving a compliment
The main rule is that compliments should be sincere: if you don’t mean it, don’t say it.
- Please, don’t objectify a person. Things that might sound like a complement but are actually manipulative and dismissive might be as follows, “Your best feature is definitely your [body part]” or “You’re so pretty/handsome, you must get everything handed to you.”
- Avoid backhanded compliments. Saying “You’re actually smart for someone who didn’t go to college” is insulting, not kind.
- Don’t use compliments to manipulate or get something in return. “You look amazing today! Can I borrow your car?” It feels transactional, manipulative, and, honestly, disrespectful.
- Never comment on someone’s body unless you know it’s welcome. “You’ve lost so much weight! You look so great now!” This may seem positive but, in reality, implies negative judgment of how they used to look.
- Avoid generic phrases like “You’re nice!” Remember that piece of advice on how you should be specific? Just compare “You’re nice!” to “I admire how you always take the time to listen to others.” The second does feel more genuine, right?
Final thoughts
Kindness unprompted turns your day around, and it doesn’t need to be loud or dramatic. A genuine compliment, as noted on techtimes.com, can support mental health, reduce anxiety, and help build lasting emotional resilience in others and in yourself.
So next time you feel something positive about someone — say it. You’d never know what your compliment might mean to the other person, especially if they’ve had a bad day.
In the end, those are small things that make the difference, not the grandest gestures 😉.
