When marriages fall apart, it can be a challenging time for everyone involved. It’s a horrible feeling to think that the person you once loved now wants nothing to do with you, and it’s even worse when children are involved.
No one enters into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce, but unfortunately, it happens far too often. If you find yourself in this situation, you may wonder about your options. But before you start throwing things or packing your bags, it’s important to remember that there is always a peaceful solution – if you’re willing to work for it.
Collaborative Law
In a Collaborative Law divorce, both parties agree to work together to dissolve their marriage in a peaceful and constructive manner. Neither spouse hires an attorney. Instead, each party is represented by a specially trained Collaborative Law lawyer who helps the couple ending a marriage negotiate a fair settlement. If the couple cannot reach an agreement, they are free to go to court and have a judge decide the outcome. But because both spouses agreed to resolve the divorce through negotiation, the chances of reaching an agreement are much higher than if you went to court without any preparation or discussion.
The goal of Collaborative Law is not just to settle the divorce but also to preserve as much of the relationship as possible. This can be especially important if there are children involved. The parents can continue co-parenting after the final divorce with far less hatred and conflict than if they had gone through traditional litigation.
Consider Mediation
One option that is often overlooked is mediation. Mediation is a process where both parties come together with a mediator to try to reach a solution that works for everyone. The mediator is not biased towards either party and will help facilitate discussion and negotiation. This can be beneficial if both parties are willing to try.
There are several benefits to mediation:
- It is often less expensive than a traditional divorce.
- It is less adversarial than a traditional divorce.
- It allows both parties to have a say in the outcome.
- It can help preserve relationships with children.
If you are considering mediation, you should speak with an attorney to learn more about the process and what to expect.
Communication is key in a Failing Marriage
Of course, the best way to avoid divorce is to communicate with your spouse about your concerns before the marriage deteriorates to the point where divorce seems like the only option. If you’re having trouble communicating with your spouse, some counselors and therapists can help you learn how to communicate effectively.
It’s also important to be realistic about what you can expect from marriage. Many people enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations, and when those expectations aren’t met, they’re disappointed. If you’re realistic about marriage, you’ll be less disappointed and more likely to work through the tough times.
Consider Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling can be a lifesaver for couples struggling to save their marriages. It can help identify the problems in the marriage and provide solutions to them. If one or both spouses are unwilling to go to marriage counseling, likely, the marriage is already beyond saving. However, marriage counseling can be beneficial if both parties try.
The counselor will ask each spouse to discuss their thoughts and feelings regarding the marriage and listen to each spouse’s concerns. The goal of marriage counseling is not just to resolve the current problems in the marriage but also to help prevent future problems from arising.
Consider a Trial Separation
If giving each other space doesn’t seem to be helping, then a trial separation may be a good idea. A trial separation allows you to break from the relationship and live apart for a while. This can help you decide if you want to get divorced or need some time apart.
If you decide to go through with a trial separation, setting some ground rules is important. For example, you may agree not to date other people during the separation. You may also agree to see each other only on certain days or at certain times. A trial separation can be a good way to give yourself time to think about your marriage and what you want. It can also help you decide if divorce is the best option for your family.
If your marriage isn’t working, there may be some peaceful solutions that you can try. Mediation and collaborative law are both options that can be beneficial if both parties are willing to try. Speak with an attorney to learn more about these processes and what to expect.
