The dissolution of marriage of two once-loving individuals is a rugged terrain to navigate and a painful process. Healthy marriages still exist, but differences in values may force couples to separate for their mental and emotional health and the welfare of their children.
Survive The Emotional Side Of Divorce
In the United States, the divorce rate is 2.3 per 1,000 population in 2020, with Wyoming having the highest registered number. Some couples try to endure and make compromises through counseling and live up to their vows during their wedding. But there are instances when enough is enough, and only separation can give a semblance of normalcy in one’s life.
There are many reasons why couples separate, but the three most common reasons for a divorce are infidelity, domestic violence, and substance abuse.
Like grieving, couples undergo a process before they arrive at the final stage of acceptance. This process is crucial and almost always necessary to achieve closure. If you’re wondering what are the five stages of divorce, the link will explain more.
If you’re in the process of a heart-breaking divorce, here’s a guide on how to survive the emotional side of it:
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of your mental, physical and emotional well-being is essential when you’re undergoing a rocky phase in your life. It begins with taking care of your basic needs and transitioning to doing something good for yourself.
It could be going to the salon to have that much-needed haircut or hitting the gym to have an energetic workout. Or even simply taking an hour or two doing nothing but lounge on the sofa.
When you take care of yourself, you can take care of other important people in your life, like your children.
Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You have to fill your life with good things so you can flow and be a blessing to others.
Maintain Stability And Routine
A divorce is a huge challenging event that could alter everyone’s life. Keeping consistent routines will help you and your children process the situation better.
Predictability and familiarity are what children look for in a family. When that gets distorted, they might feel resentful and detached.
To address that, keep your routines as much as you can., like dinner times and weekend activities. Have an open line of communication with your children because they deserve that. When they wonder or ask what’s happening, you should be there to give them honest and cushioned answers that would not rip them apart. This is important with all kids regardless of age.
Don’t Go Through The Process Alone
Going through a divorce will be agonizing if you’re dealing with it yourself. Having someone you trust beside you will make the process much easier. Your best friend, sibling, or parents will be an excellent support system that will help you cope with the strain of the event.
If the mentioned people are not available for you, support groups are a great source of inspiration and strength. Being surrounded by people who suffered the same fate might give you courage, hope, and much-needed help, especially if this is your first divorce.
Just being able to let out a stream of emotions in front of a group that will not judge you is a liberating feeling. It may give you catharsis to face life in a better light.
Avoid Arguments With Your Former Spouse
You are trying to leave a situation that has caused you emotional turmoil, so the first sign of argument should warn you to go the opposite direction.
Stay calm, breathe deeply, and walk away.
If your argument is about the children, you should always refer to your lawyers who could handle it objectively. Arguing with your ex is futile and could affect your custody of the children.
Maintaining a healthy and friendly relationship with your ex is crucial, especially if you have children, so you should agree on ground rules to resolve conflicts amicably.
Take Time To Explore Interests
While you were married, you might have taken a step back in pursuing your passions because you’re busy taking care of others.
Now that you’re not anymore, you can continue what you have started for your betterment and enrich your career that could have been hampered. This could be the break you’re waiting for, and it could be a blessing in disguise.
Conclusion – Survive The Emotional Side Of Divorce
Don’t think that a divorce is the be-all and end-all of your life. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and you should be able to see a glimmer of hope if you look carefully. Many opportunities await you, and it’s time to look after yourself.
Maybe reconnect with old friends, advance your career, start a business, or be focused on your children.
