Leaving an abusive marriage can be one of the most terrifying and difficult decisions a person ever faces. Abuse comes in many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and psychological. Victims may feel trapped, powerless, or unsure where to turn for help. However, you are not alone. An experienced Orlando domestic violence lawyer can strongly represent you and take swift legal steps to protect your well-being and your rights.
Common Types of Abuse in a Marriage
Before exploring how to leave an abusive marriage, it is important to understand what abuse looks like. Abuse isn't always physical; in fact, many victims suffer from forms of abuse that leave no visible scars.
- Physical Abuse: Hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, choking, or restraining.
- Emotional Abuse: Constant criticism, humiliation, threats, gaslighting, or intimidation.
- Psychological Abuse: Manipulation, isolation from friends or family, controlling where you go and what you do.
- Sexual Abuse: Forcing sexual acts without consent or coercing sexual activity through threats or intimidation.
- Financial Abuse: Withholding money, controlling access to finances, sabotaging employment, or restricting your ability to work.
Many abusers use a combination of these tactics to maintain control. If you experience any of these, you may be in an abusive marriage.
Step 1: Recognize That Abuse Is Never Your Fault
One of the biggest hurdles for many victims is overcoming the guilt, shame, and self-blame that typically accompany abuse and domestic violence. Understand that:
- Abuse is about power and control.
- You cannot “fix” your abuser through love, compromise, or patience.
- You deserve safety, respect, and dignity.
The moment you begin to recognize the abuse for what it is, you empower yourself to take action.
Step 2: Make a Safety Plan Before Leaving
Leaving an abusive marriage can trigger escalated violence from the abuser. Therefore, a carefully considered safety plan is critical.
Key Elements of a Safety Plan:
- Secure Important Documents: Gather birth certificates, Social Security cards, immigration papers, medical records, bank account details, marriage license, and any legal documents.
- Emergency Contacts: Memorize or hide the phone numbers of trusted friends, family, or local shelters.
- Financial Preparation: Open a separate bank account (if safe to do so) and start saving money discreetly.
- Safe Place to Go: Arrange in advance a safe place to stay, whether with friends, family, or a domestic violence shelter.
- Emergency Bag: Pack a hidden bag with clothes, medications, cash, documents, keys, and other essentials.
- Child Safety: If you have children, plan how to remove them safely and ensure their schooling or daycare knows who can and cannot pick them up.
- Code Words: Establish a code word with trusted people to signal that you need immediate help.
Florida Domestic Violence Shelters:
Florida has a statewide network of certified domestic violence centers that offer shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, and more. You can call the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-500-1119 for confidential assistance 24/7.
Step 3: Seek Legal Protection Through a Florida Restraining Order
Florida law provides legal protection through Injunctions for Protection Against Domestic Violence, commonly known as restraining orders.
How to Obtain a Restraining Order in Florida:
- File a Petition: Go to the local courthouse or file online in some counties. An experienced Orlando domestic violence lawyer can help you file the petition.
- Provide Evidence: Describe specific incidents of abuse and provide evidence such as photos, medical reports, police reports, text messages, or witness statements.
- Temporary Injunction: Judges can issue a temporary order the same day, effective until the court hearing.
- Court Hearing: Within 15 days, the court will hold a hearing where both parties can testify. A judge may issue a Final Injunction lasting months, years, or indefinitely.
Protections a Florida Injunction Can Provide:
- Restrain the abuser from contacting you or coming near your home, workplace, or children’s school.
- Award temporary child custody and support.
- Require the abuser to vacate the marital home.
- Order the abuser to surrender firearms.
- Include provisions for counseling or treatment programs.
Step 4: File for Divorce Once You Are Safe
Once you are physically safe and have legal protections in place, you can begin the divorce process.
Grounds for Divorce in Florida:
Florida is a no-fault divorce state, which means you don’t need to prove abuse to file for divorce. You simply need to state that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.”
However, abuse can impact several aspects of the divorce:
- Child Custody: Courts prioritize the child’s safety. A history of domestic violence weighs heavily in custody decisions, often limiting or terminating the abuser’s rights.
- Alimony: Abuse may influence alimony awards, especially if it affected your financial independence.
- Property Division: Though Florida generally follows equitable distribution, courts may consider domestic violence in deciding fairness.
Key Steps in the Florida Divorce Process:
- File the Petition: You can file a petition for Dissolution of Marriage in the county where either spouse resides.
- Serve Your Spouse: Your spouse must be formally served with the divorce papers.
- Financial Disclosures: Both parties must provide full financial disclosures.
- Mediation: Many Florida courts require mediation unless domestic violence exemptions apply.
- Trial: If no agreement is reached, a judge will make final decisions regarding property, custody, and support.
Step 5: Pursue Criminal Charges If Appropriate
If the abuse you have experienced rises to the level of a crime, you have every right to pursue criminal charges against your abuser. Certain acts of abuse, such as physical assault, sexual violence, stalking, or unlawful imprisonment, are criminal offenses punishable under state law.
In fact, law enforcement officers in Florida are authorized to make an arrest without a warrant if they have probable cause to believe that domestic violence has occurred, often immediately following a 911 call or police intervention.
Common Domestic Violence Criminal Charges in Florida:
- Domestic Battery (F.S. § 784.03)
- Aggravated Battery
- Stalking or Cyberstalking
- Sexual Battery (Rape)
- False Imprisonment or Kidnapping
- Child Abuse or Child Neglect
Convictions for these crimes can carry serious penalties, including jail or prison time, probation, mandatory participation in a batterer’s intervention program, restraining orders, community service, and permanent loss of firearm rights under Florida and federal law.
A criminal conviction may also strengthen your case for divorce, child custody, or a permanent injunction. If you are unsure about pursuing criminal charges, consult a Florida domestic violence lawyer to discuss your options and legal protections.
Step 6: Secure Child Custody & Visitation Safely
Children’s safety and well-being are a key concern in abusive marriages.
Florida Child Custody Considerations:
- Courts prioritize the child’s best interests and safety.
- Documented domestic violence often results in supervised visitation or no contact.
- You may seek an emergency motion for temporary custody alongside your injunction or divorce petition.
If you fear abduction or harm, your Orlando domestic violence attorney can help you request specific protections in the custody order.
Step 7: Access Counseling & Support Services
Leaving an abusive marriage generally results in significant emotional and psychological trauma for the survivor.
Support Resources in Florida:
- Florida Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-500-1119
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- Local shelters, such as Women in Distress of Broward County or Hubbard House in Jacksonville, offer therapy and peer support.
- Private counseling from licensed mental health professionals trained in domestic violence recovery.
- Support groups for survivors of abuse, including faith-based programs.
Step 8: Rebuild Your Financial Independence
Financial abuse leaves many victims feeling trapped. Once you’ve left the relationship, rebuilding your financial footing is crucial.
Steps to Take:
- Open New Bank Accounts: In your name only, preferably at a different bank than your spouse’s accounts.
- Establish Credit: Apply for a secured credit card or loan to start building credit independently.
- Seek Financial Counseling: Nonprofits such as United Way or YWCA often provide free financial education.
- Apply for Support Programs: You may qualify for state and federal programs such as TANF, SNAP, or Medicaid.
- Pursue Alimony or Child Support: Work with your attorney to ensure you receive all legally entitled support.
Step 9: Consider Relocation (If Necessary)
If staying in the same community presents safety risks, Florida law allows for relocation with children under certain conditions.
Relocation Rules:
- You may need court approval to relocate with minor children more than 50 miles away.
- Your domestic violence attorney can help file a Petition to Relocate if necessary.
- Judges evaluate relocation based on safety, employment opportunities, and child welfare.
Step 10: Work With an Experienced Domestic Violence Lawyer
Dealing with the legal complexities of leaving an abusive marriage requires skilled, compassionate legal counsel. A qualified Orlando domestic violence attorney can:
- Help you obtain restraining orders.
- Protect your parental rights.
- Ensure your financial security in divorce.
- Represent you in criminal proceedings.
- Provide safety-focused legal strategies for your unique situation.
You Are Not Alone
Escaping an abusive marriage is not just about leaving the relationship. It is about reclaiming your safety, freedom, and peace of mind. While the path forward can be challenging, every step you take toward safety is an act of courage and strength.
With the right legal protections, trusted support networks, and skilled guidance, you can rebuild a life free from fear. If you are ready to take the next step toward freedom, reach out to a dedicated Florida domestic violence lawyer for a free and confidential consultation. Your lawyer can pursue the necessary legal steps to protect your well-being and help you start anew.
