Pumpkin guts on the counter, costume glitter in the carpet, and Dad sharpening puns like carving knives. This monster‑size list is safe for classrooms, parties, and family scroll time—packed with Halloween dad jokes and Halloween jokes for kids you can actually share.

Key Takeaways

  • The article features a list of Halloween dad jokes suitable for classrooms and parties.
  • It includes jokes about pumpkins, ghosts, witches, vampires, zombies, and more.
  • Each section contains amusing one-liners and puns that are family-friendly and easy to share.
  • There are also FAQs addressing kid-friendliness and where to find printable joke cards.
  • Readers are encouraged to enjoy these puns and check out additional themed jokes for other occasions.
Playful Halloween graphic with a cartoon Michael Myers holding a pumpkin and knife beside the headline ‘Daily Dad Jokes — Halloween Edition’ on an orange backdrop.

Table of contents

Halloween Dad Jokes

Pumpkin Jokes & Puns

  • Why was the jack‑o‑lantern a straight‑A student? It was always bright.
  • I told my pumpkin a joke—it split its sides.
  • What do you call a pumpkin who tells dad jokes? A pun‑kin.
  • My pumpkin pie tried stand‑up—the crowd was whipped.
  • The gourd joined a gym—working on its core.
  • Why was the pumpkin late to the party? It got stuck in traffic on the vine.
  • Jack‑o‑lantern’s new job? Night‑shift lighting tech.
  • I dropped the pumpkin—total squash goals.
  • The patch started a band—they’ve got great gourd progression.
  • Our pumpkin’s favorite subject? Stem.

Ghost Jokes (Boo It Yourself)

  • Why do ghosts ride the elevator? It lifts their spirits.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo‑berries.
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
  • Ghosts love cold weather—lots of boo‑sweaters.
  • The ghost got detention—too many boo‑doodles on homework.
  • What do you call a messy ghost? A slob‑bergeist.
  • Why did the ghost join the choir? For the boo‑sical numbers.
  • Ghost’s favorite letter? Boo‑kends.
  • Haunted gym class? Plenty of spirit.
  • That ghost’s podcast? It’s a real scream—mostly dead air.

Witch Jokes (Which Witch?)

  • Why did the witch read the recipe twice? She didn’t want to spell it wrong.
  • What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.
  • Why was the broom promoted? It swept everyone off their feet.
  • The witch opened a salon—specializes in hex‑tensions.
  • What’s a witch’s favorite snack? Broom‑sticks and dip.
  • Why do witches wear name tags? To avoid mis‑spellings.
  • That broom runs on eco fuel—witch hazel.
  • Witch’s voicemail: “I’ll cauldron you back.”
  • Why don’t witches get lost? They follow the broom‑stickers.

Vampire Jokes (Fang‑tastic)

  • Why did the vampire take art class? Watercolor only—no blood splatter.
  • What do you call a vampire who loves math? Count.
  • Why do vampires write with fountain pens? They love a good drip.
  • Vampire’s favorite fruit? Blood oranges.
  • Why did the vampire carry a mirror? Career development—negative feedback.
  • The vampire joined a band—great at organ.
  • Why was the vampire always calm? Type B.
  • How do vampires start emails? “To whom it may concern…”—night shift only.
  • Why don’t vampires tan? Solar power is a real drain.

Zombie Jokes (No‑Brainers)

  • What do zombies order at the café? De‑caf.
  • Zombie diet? Strictly grainsss.
  • Why did the zombie become a gardener? Green thumbs… up.
  • Zombie’s favorite school subject? Chew‑ology.
  • Why don’t zombies argue? They don’t have the stomach for it.
  • The zombie tried yoga—couldn’t keep corpse pose.
  • Zombie joined a choir—great baritone groan.
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite bean? Humans. (Kidding—jelly beans.)

Monsters & Mummies (Wrap Party)

  • Why don’t mummies take days off? They’re afraid to unwind.
  • Frankenstein’s dad starts meetings with: “Let’s stitch this up.”
  • Where do monsters keep spare change? In their boo‑ts.
  • The Creature from the Black Lagoon loves laps—splash bro.
  • Why did the mummy start a podcast? For the wrap‑up.
  • The werewolf opened a barber shop—full moon fades.
  • Why did the monster skip dessert? Already feeling ghoulty.
  • The invisible man’s calendar? All clear.

Trick‑or‑Treat Jokes

  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry—it’s just a joke!
  • Why do skeletons love trick‑or‑treating? It’s in their bones.
  • What’s the scariest day for a dad? Candy inventory day.
  • I dressed as Wi‑Fi—strong connection at every door.
  • The porch light went out—we took it as a fright signal.
  • Why did the pirate kid get extra candy? Arr‑fully polite.
  • Best trick‑or‑treat route? Cul‑de‑boo‑sac.
  • My costume? Exhausted parent. Frighteningly realistic.

Candy Jokes (Sweet Nothings)

  • My chocolate bar told a joke—it was a real Snicker.
  • Why did the lollipop get promoted? It always stuck with it.
  • The gummy bear went to school—wanted to be a little smarter.
  • Why was the taffy late? It got tied up.
  • Candy corn’s band? Tri‑tone harmony.
  • The jawbreaker apologized—hard feelings.
  • Marshmallows in October? S’more‑bid curiosity.
  • Licorice workout plan—lots of pull‑ups.

School & Classroom Halloween Jokes

  • Why did the teacher wear a cape? Super‑vision during recess.
  • What’s the scariest subject? Alge‑boo‑ra.
  • Cafeteria special: spag‑boo‑tti.
  • Why did the student bring a flashlight? Pop quiz at night.
  • The librarian dressed as a bat—quietly outstanding.
  • Why did the pencil costume win? It drew a crowd.
  • The bell rang at midnight—after‑school spooktivities.
  • PE on Halloween? Plenty of running gags.

Corny Halloween Dad Jokes (Groan Zone)

  • My broom quit—said it was sweeping changes.
  • I told the skeleton a secret—he couldn’t keep it under wraps.
  • My costume is “tired dad”—comes with dark circles and a snack pouch.
  • Haunted house thermostat set to boo‑ler weather.
  • I tried a pumpkin spice diet—I’ve got a latte feelings.
  • The cobwebs in the garage? Seasonal décor, obviously.
  • I asked the vampire for feedback—he said I drained the room.
  • Monsters under the bed? Good—place to store the laundry.

Kids’ Riddles - Halloween Jokes

Q: What kind of key opens a haunted house?
A: A spoo‑key.

Q: What room do ghosts avoid?
A: The living room.

Q: Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: What’s a mummy’s favorite music?
A: Wrap.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: What’s a monster’s favorite cereal?
A: Grrrr‑anola.

Q: Why was the jack‑o‑lantern afraid?
A: It had no guts.

Q: Where do baby ghosts learn to boo?
A: Pre‑boo‑school.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why did the witch skip PE?
A: She pulled a broom‑string.

Printable Halloween Dad Jokes Cards

Coming Soon

FAQ - Halloween Dad Jokes

Are these Halloween jokes kid‑friendly?

Yes—clean, PG, and classroom safe.  What are the best Halloween dad jokes for school?

Check the School & Classroom section above.  Can I repost these jokes with credit?

Yup—please link back.  Where can I download printable Halloween jokes?

See the Printable section above.

Dad’s Final Cut

Thanks for surviving this slash‑of‑life comedy. If the puns were killer like Michael Myers, blame the writer’s room—aka Dad. Hungry for more? Try our Thanksgiving jokes, Wednesday jokes, and Teacher jokes next.