> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://daysofadomesticdad.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Sometimes Dads Give The Best Advice on Twitter - URL: https://daysofadomesticdad.com/dads-give-the-best-advice-on-twitter/ - Published: 2017-06-26T15:27:15.000Z - Updated: 2026-01-05T21:11:15.000Z - Author: Colby - Tags: Parenting, #Migrated-1767642432214, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-01-05 13:47 ### On Father’s Day, Jimmy Fallon asked the world to give their best #Dadvice and #DadQuotes on Twitter…and the world didn’t let us down. When Dad is normally giving us advice or sharing a personal quote, we can expect them to make some sort of “real world” sense., such as: “Change your oil every 30,000 miles” or “Be sure to carry a can of mace with you if you’re walking alone at night.” ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b9/55/b955f19e-2d72-43e0-ad6e-7ea2d292618a/content/images/2026/01/image-for-dadvice-2.jpg) Not these Dads. These Dads have other amazing advice and quotes to share with their children, and I can’t stop laughing. My stomach literally hurts. Go ahead and read to see why! #1: Don’t let people know how dumb you are. > "When you start a new job, don't talk a lot. This way they won't know how dumb you are." I said,"Thanks, dad!" Guess he was right. [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) > > — Lauren (@laurenCoreFit) [June 12, 2014](https://twitter.com/laurenCoreFit/status/477114461439131648) #2: Nobody wants to remember. > Once my dad came to my band show & didn't take any pictures. I asked him why & he said "Nobody wants to remember this". [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Ed Hill (@kingedhill) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/kingedhill/status/875106128455098369) #3: Bad Drivers. > On my first driving lesson, we passed the cemetery and my dad said, "Buckle up - that's where the bad drivers go." [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) [@jimmyfallon](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon) > > — Tara Patterson (@tpatt356) [June 12, 2014](https://twitter.com/tpatt356/status/477078274711891969) #4: Put one show in each suitcase. > "At the airport my dad said, "Put one shoe in each suitcase so if it gets stolen they can't wear your shoes." [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash)" > > — LAURA (@lauradarzaaa) [March 25, 2015](https://twitter.com/lauradarzaaa/status/580622519918571521) #5: Just say thanks. > "What do you do when a stranger gives you drugs? Say 'thank you' because drugs are expensive." [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) [@jimmyfallon](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon) > > — Paige Leilani (@paigeleilani) [February 17, 2017](https://twitter.com/paigeleilani/status/832719962280071169) #6 All Guts. > Hashtag game! Tweet out something weird, funny, or embarrassing your dad has said and tag it with [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash). Could be on the show! > > — jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon/status/875048326563069952) #7: Keep my milk where it is. > Once my dad went to the grocery store n the cashier asked "if u want the milk in the bag" he said, "just leave it in the carton" [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Marcos (@MarcosAmparo3) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/MarcosAmparo3/status/875049441757196290) #8 Everybody hurts sometimes. > My face got really sunburned and when I said "my face hurts" my dad without missing a beat said "not as bad as it's hurting me" [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Trace Reaves (@trace3304) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/trace3304/status/875134704395182080) #9: The voices talk to me. > Every time someone asks my dad "how are you?", he ALWAYS responds with "the voices tell me I'm good today". [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Olivia Balding (@OliBob\_1029) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/OliBob%5F1029/status/875090879320657920) #10: It’s okay. We have insurance. > When I was younger I was playing softball and told my dad I was afraid to get hit. He responded with "it's ok, we have insurance" [#dadquotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadquotes?src=hash) > > — grace owens (@grace\_owens11) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/grace%5Fowens11/status/875049476146298881) #11: I’d like to buy a vowel. > My dad told me he accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces and he "wasn't looking forward to his next vowel movement." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Kelsey Raköw (@kejade) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/kejade/status/875054117667958785) #12: Mention my name. > Hashtag game! Tweet out something weird, funny, or embarrassing your dad has said and tag it with [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash). Could be on the show! > > — jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon/status/875048326563069952) #13: Cloak of Darkness. > When mom wouldn't let dad build a maze of beer cans in our yard he said "You're the cloak of darkness smothering my fire of fun." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — KRose (@KristenRose124) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/KristenRose124/status/875070805444628481) #14: Existing. > Dad: School's the least of your worries. Me: What's the most of my worries? Dad: Existing. [#ok](https://twitter.com/hashtag/ok?src=hash) [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — jessica fontenot (@princessjess121) [January 25, 2017](https://twitter.com/princessjess121/status/824381237691379714) #15: Just pray. > Saturday Dadvice My dad told me that if I ever wanted to nap during class To make it look like I'm praying. [pic.twitter.com/r5tINH5Ej8](https://t.co/r5tINH5Ej8) > > — Mundare Bakery (@BakeryMundare) [June 18, 2016](https://twitter.com/BakeryMundare/status/744264106417364992) #16\. Don’t force it. > Love is like a fart - if you have to force it, it's probably crap. [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — Hanna (: (@HannaPeters5) [November 4, 2016](https://twitter.com/HannaPeters5/status/794418622667993088) #17\. Make the people talk. > My Dad used to ask us to turn up the tv by saying "make them people talk louder" [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Sarahjane (@sarahjane2885) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/sarahjane2885/status/875048532721496064) #18: If a boy asks you for a dance… > Just dropped Emily at 8th grade dance. Last thing I said was "if a boy tries to dance with you punch him in the throat" [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — Eric Horvath (@erichorvath\_) [May 13, 2017](https://twitter.com/erichorvath%5F/status/863192022244634624) #19: Yummy popcorn! > I asked my Dad how he always managed to make delicious popcorn. He said, "that's Pop's secret".[#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) [@FallonTonight](https://twitter.com/FallonTonight) > > — I'm Shucked! (@Aricka\_Shuck) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/Aricka%5FShuck/status/875111728815775749) #20 Next time, hit a Ford. > when i accidentally took out the tail light of a mercedes parked in front of me: "stop crying, pay him, and next time hit a ford" [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — Nicole (@colemor) [June 17, 2017](https://twitter.com/colemor/status/875907111426961408) #21: Amazing [Dad tip](https://daysofadomesticdad.com/4-tips-all-dads-should-know-about-taking-proper-care-of-gardening-tools/) I have to learn. > Told my dad I was going camping at a local state park for my 30th birthday, he proceeded to give me tips on how to sneak in alcohol [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — Shanna Hynes (@heart\_music87) [February 12, 2017](https://twitter.com/heart%5Fmusic87/status/830902131850936320) #22: Well, somebody needs to go. > My dad always said, "You better go to church every Sunday. We need somebody int this family to go to Heaven." [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) > > — Daveson (@atarikitani) [June 13, 2014](https://twitter.com/atarikitani/status/477447683687202816) #23: I only made one joke. > I told my dad that he only makes dad jokes, and he said, "I've only made one joke in my life, and you're it." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Genevieve Thayer (@gengerbreadgirl) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/gengerbreadgirl/status/875127322789031936) #24: A bucket of sand. > Friendly career advice from my father: > > — Liz Dobson (@lizdobson) [June 13, 2017](https://twitter.com/lizdobson/status/874774510037327873) #25: We’re not hunters. > "Yeah in the tribe we originated from, we were probably comedians, not hunters." [#dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/dadvice?src=hash) > > — Toby Frevert (@TobyFrevert) [June 16, 2017](https://twitter.com/TobyFrevert/status/875715041894572032) #26: I want for Sures! > When walking through the incontinence section at the grocery store dad would say "why buy 'depends'? I'd want the 'for sures'" [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Kristen Briggs (@ms\_briggs2) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/ms%5Fbriggs2/status/875049207295426560) #27: Don’t feel bad. > My dad once told me, "Don’t feel bad if you strike out. That just means we can get out of here sooner.” [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) > > — jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) [June 11, 2014](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon/status/476822960406544384) #28: Handmade cards. > When I was 13 I gave my dad a handmade Father's Day card. He looked at it & asked: When r u going to start buying me a real card? [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — ReeRee (@its\_reeeeena) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/its%5Freeeeena/status/875101237749981186) #29: The tooth and nothing but the tooth. > [@jimmyfallon](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon) My dad used to say be true to your teeth and they'll never be false to you. [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Livinit (@livinit) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/livinit/status/875048880630640643) #30: If I don’t hear from you. > [@jimmyfallon](https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon) My dad used to say be true to your teeth and they'll never be false to you. [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Livinit (@livinit) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/livinit/status/875048880630640643) 31: Poof! You’re a sandwich! > Me: Dad can you make a sandwich? (magician's hand gesture) Dad: POOF! You're a sandwich[#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) [@FallonTonight](https://twitter.com/FallonTonight) > > — I'm Shucked! (@Aricka\_Shuck) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/Aricka%5FShuck/status/875109503397765120) #32: Yeah Right. > Watching "Chicken Run," my dad suddenly exclaimed "yeah, right!All those chickens working together like that." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Alyson Meldrum (@AlyMeldrum) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/AlyMeldrum/status/875051607716712449) #33: Santa is always watching. > When I was little my dad would tell me to "Behave, or else Santa will come on Christmas Eve and burn our house to the ground." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — KRose (@KristenRose124) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/KristenRose124/status/875071389488861186) #34: The real king. > "Root beer is the king of pop, not Michael Jackson." [#DadQuotes](https://twitter.com/hashtag/DadQuotes?src=hash) > > — Pacnel (@Pacnel) [June 14, 2017](https://twitter.com/Pacnel/status/875107305926213633) #35: Painting can be fun. > My friend's dad: "When painting a room, keep the windows shut. You can get a real buzz goin'." [#Dadvice](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Dadvice?src=hash) > > — Mark Huerta (@huertamd) [June 11, 2014](https://twitter.com/huertamd/status/476824718600048642) These are some of my favorites, but there are literally thousands upon thousands of tweets full of #Dadvice and #DadQuotes! What are some your favorite quotes and tid bits of advice from your Dad? Let me know me know in the comments or send me a tweet!